


The Hours In Between

by sugawarasenpai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, POV Third Person Limited, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-10-02 08:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugawarasenpai/pseuds/sugawarasenpai
Summary: It’s fuck-off-o-clock in the morning when Suga’s alarm goes off so he fumbles around on his nightstand for it before mercilessly spiking it onto the ground. Somehow, that didn’t do the trick, so he groans, and throws the covers off of himself, retrieving the damn thing so it stops screeching at him.---A collection of moments not quite connected, between a certain setter and a certain spiker, in (likely) five chapters. Work in progress. Will steadily update. Rated Teen for swears, mostly. And some kissing, probably.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s fuck-off-o-clock in the morning when Suga’s alarm goes off so he fumbles around on his nightstand for it before mercilessly spiking it onto the ground. Somehow, that didn’t do the trick, so he groans, and throws the covers off of himself, retrieving the damn thing so it stops screeching at him.

 

Suga’s head throbs.

 

It’s freezing in here, outside the cozy warmth of his bed. He _wants_ to crawl back in there and sleep till a more reasonable hour. Instead, he grabs the blanket off his bed, wrapping it around himself.

 

Then, his phone lights up, and buzzes from his desk. He picks it up with a grumble.

 

 **From:** Tanaka Ryuunosuke

\--  _awake yet?  we still meeting up or what?_

 **To:** Tanaka Ryuunosuke

\-- _Unfortunately, yes. You better bring me breakfast for all the trouble. See you all too soon~_

 

He sets the phone back down and catches sight of his ridiculous bedhead in the frosty window when he turns, startled for a split second before he realizes it’s just himself. The sky is still pitch black. He can see the faint pinprick of stars behind his reflection. He’s generally alright with pretending to be an early riser, but waking up when it’s this dark out is absolutely ludicrous.

 

Suga yawns. Tanaka owes him big for this.

 

Though truthfully, he wouldn’t be doing it if he didn’t want to. Those kids are growing on him quicker than he’d like to admit. Plus, going behind Daichi’s back is somehow a little bit exhilarating, and plenty satisfying. It’s a needed distraction from the thoughts that have been plaguing him lately.

 

If he can just give a little bit extra to the club, then maybe, in some small way, it could make up for … well. It’s too early to dwell on that now, so he pushes the thought away.

 

It takes Suga a bit to really wake up and get his bearings, but eventually he finds himself dressed, and forces himself to stumble out the door with a thermos full of tea and an extra jacket to ward off the chill.

 

It’s an unusually cold spring morning, he thinks, or maybe he’s just not used to the world before the sun rises. The caffeine and the hot steam do little to help, but it’s better than nothing.

 

The walk to school is gruelling, there’s no way around it, and he blames Daichi for his suffering. If he hadn’t decided to kick those two brats out of the club, he wouldn’t be in this mess. He could back in his warm bed, dreaming about… well nevermind that, because his dreams have been uncomfortable things lately, and he hopes that dreams don’t _actually_ hold any real meaning, because that is _not_ something he wants to deal with right now.

 

So yes, back to the thought at hand, this is certainly _all Daichi’s fault._ Except that he knows it’s not really a fair accusation, knows he doesn’t _have_ to be doing this, knows it’s ultimately no one’s fault but his own that he’s up to see the sun just start to peek over the mountains when he reaches the bottom of the hill.

 

“Hey!” Tanaka calls out to him, when he reaches the fork in the road, before it turns up to the school.

 

“Hey,” Suga responds with a yawn.

 

The other boy looks surprisingly cheery for how ungodly of an hour it is. Suga kind of wants to slap him for it, but on the other hand, his grin is a little infectious. So he just smiles at him instead.

 

“Rough morning?” Tanaka asks, and gently bumps against him as they wander up the hill together.

 

“Nn. The worst. This better be worth it.”

 

Tanaka chuckles. “I think so. They’re good, you know. Hinata’s got a lot of fire, and Kageyama…”

 

“Is a piece of work?” Suga supplies.

 

“That’s about right. He’s something else, for sure.”

 

They share a chuckle, then start up the hill together, falling in step. The birds have woken up by now, chirping from all around them as dawn finally starts to creep over the valley, breathing life into things again.

 

“Thanks, you know, for helping.” Tanaka stops then, smiling at him in such a sincere way that Suga feels guilty for ever complaining.

 

“Just making sure you idiots don’t get yourselves into trouble. Someone’s gotta be responsible.”

 

Tanaka scoffs at him. “What? I am being _incredibly_ responsible. I’m a perfectly respectable senpai now!” He gestures at himself with both thumbs, grinning like the idiot that he is.

 

Suga laughs, and slaps him on the back.

 

“Alright, sure, whatever you say.”

 

“I am!”

 

“Let’s go, _senpai,_ ” Suga jests, shoving at him till they’re both moving sluggishly up the road again. “We’ve gotta get set up.”

 

The walk up the hill is quick enough, despite how heavy his legs feel, and the silent company is little more bearable. He can’t help but glance over at Tanaka as they walk, watching as he puffs out clouds of warm air, humming softly to himself. It’s endearing, really.

 

Tanaka can be _such_ a pain sometimes, but only because he’s so much person, and a lot of that person is pretty alright. He’s pretty cute, too, the way his stupid hat flops over his head, covers the tips of his ears.

 

Suga should probably pull himself together and _stop_ staring, because really, it’s a silly thing to do.

 

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Tanaka says, and stops when they finally reach the front of the gym. He tugs the backpack off his shoulder, and rummages around in it before pulling out a flimsy plastic container, thrusting it at Suga. “Breakfast.”

 

Suga takes it and opens it, peering inside. It’s a pastry, the cheese kind, and Suga could _cry_.

 

“Oh, you actually got me breakfast,” Suga says, and he knows he sounds a little bit sappy and he nudges into Tanaka a little harder than he needs to. “Don’t think this makes up for what you’re putting me through here.”

 

Tanaka chuckles. “Nah. But I figure it helps.”

 

“Can’t lie, it kinda does,” he says, and takes a bite, and 5am suddenly doesn’t feel so terrible after all.

 

Suga smiles, and Tanaka’s smiling back and he thinks that _maybe_ he could get used to mornings like this.


	2. Chapter 2

"Can't sleep?"    
  
Suga jerks his head up, wide-eyed, startled out of his desperate sulking by the figure slowly shuffling toward him up the hill. It's dark, but he can make out the silhouette of a buzz-cut in the faint, cloud-mottled starlight.    
  
Tanaka.    
  
“Sorry, did I wake you up?” Suga offers a faint, guilty smile.   
  
“Mmm, Hinata kicking me in the kidneys woke me up, I think.” Tanka crouches down beside him, stretching out his neck with a crack and leaning back on his elbows -- all too casual for being out here past two in the morning.   
  
“Coach will kick your ass if he finds you out of bed, you know.”    
  
“Hn? And he won’t kick yours?”    
  
“No,” Suga says lightly, shrugging, finding something of a genuine smile again. “I’m a model student. I always have a sound reason for breaking rules. But you … You’re always up to no good.”   
  
Tanaka barks out a laugh, then immediately covers his mouth. “You’re something else, Suga-san,” he mumbles between his fingers.   
  
“Mm.”    
  
“Maybe if my  _ senpai _ would be a better role model, I'd be more well behaved." Tanaka flashes him a grin and then, suddenly, seems to regret what he just said. "Err, sorry, I didn't--"   
  
Suga just laughs. "Maybe you're right."    
  
Tanaka looks a little bit sheepish and Suga decides he's pretty cute -- which isn't the first time he's come to that decision either. It makes him want to give Tanaka a firm punch to the bicep, but he refrains.    
  
"So, what are you out here sulking about, then?" Tanaka asks, blunt and targeted. He doesn't pull his punches.   
  
Suga shouldn't be so surprised, but he still feels like he's been exposed and he doesn't like it one bit. The thin t-shirt ruffles around him as a cool breeze blows by, and he's blaming the goosebumps on that. 

He studies his arms, freckled and bruised and sore, hair standing on end. 

Then, he tugs at the tattered hem of his shirt, wanting to hide inside the over-sized fabric, like it's ceased to properly cover him up. It's a faded, bleach-stained thing that was a deep sky-blue once, back in elementary school. It's got a stupid shrimp on the front of it and he’s suddenly self-conscious wearing the old thing. It’s been his favorite to sleep in for years -- now it feels like it’s mocking him. 

The tree overhead rustles with another gust of wind. It’s chilly -- a nice shift from the sweltering day-time heat.

Tanaka just lets the silence pass between them, tense and suffocating. He’s waiting, eyes focused on the night sky, searching out the stars in the gaps of the cloud cover. At least he’s doing Suga the favor of not staring him down, boring into him with silent judgement, the way Daichi does. 

The guilt is slowly chipping away at Suga’s avoidant resolve.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Suga says, as if it’s that simple. 

“Figured that one out on my own.” Tanaka keeps his gaze trained up at the sky. He’s starting to fidget. 

“Why’d you come find me? Worried I’d gotten eaten by Kuroo on my way to bathroom?” Suga jokes, but there’s a lack of humor in his voice. 

“Because  _ I _ couldn’t sleep, and you were gone for a while. Besides, Chikara pointed out your awful mood at dinner.  _ Something’s _ bothering you.”  
  
“Hardly your problem though, right?” Suga snaps, his sour mood creeping back in.

Tanaka gives him a pained look of frustration. Suga feels as if he’s kicked a puppy and there it is -- the pang of regret.

“Sorry. I just think it’s better if I don’t infect you with this terrible attitude of mine.”   
  
“Well, too late for that.” Tanaka pouts. His eyes search the ground in front of him, looking for the words he needs. “It’s just that, you’re good at keeping everyone’s spirits up, you know? So I guess, what I’m saying is, when you’re like this...”

“I bring everyone else down, too?” Suga finishes for him.

“No!” Tanaka shouts, then lowers his voice, glancing around. “No, that’s, that’s not what I mean, Suga-san...”

“I think it is. And I think you’re right.” A bitter smile tugs at Suga’s lips. 

“I just wanna help,” Tanaka pleads. 

Suga lets out a heavy sigh. 

“It’s just that … I’m frustrated. We’re all improving, individually, or at least the rest of the team is.” Suga drags his fingers through the dewy grass, the soft blades tickling at his palms.  

“But…?” Tanaka leads him into the next thought, refusing to let him drop it. 

“But,” Suga gives him a look, “I feel like we’ve lost our rhythm, as a unit.”

Tanaka nods. 

“And I feel like, maybe, it’s my fault we can’t,” Suga makes a vague gesture, “connect it all together.” 

“Suga-san, you’re being ridiculous.” Tanaka is glaring at him, teeth grit and brow creased. He looks almost scary, but mostly tired, and Suga has the sudden, overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss him.

But Daichi’s disapproving glare is an echo at the edges of his memory, so he doesn’t. He feels silly for the thought. 

“I just…” Suga stares up, watching the clouds drift and pull apart, the hazy glow of the moon casting deep shadows around them as it peeks through. “If I was a little stronger, taller, had better technique, something … then maybe I could secure a starting position, and it’d all come together. But, that’s an ugly, selfish thought.” 

“No. It’s not,” Tanaka says, with a simple sort of finality. “We all wanna get better. We all feel like we’re dragging the team down when we don’t. But that’s the thing, you know? We’re a team. It’s not like it’s gotta rest on your shoulders.” 

Suga thinks, when they’ve left, Tanaka will make a good Captain. He’ll be sure, come spring, the vote sways in his favor. 

“Maybe not, then.” Suga gives a shrug, and smiles over at Tanaka. “I know I can’t make up for the kind of raw talent Kageyama possess. Or the sort of power Daichi and Asahi, and well,  _ you _ have. And I’ve made peace with that. But if there’s anything at all I _ can _ bring to the table, well, I can’t do much of anything if I’m not practicing in the matches with you.”

Tanaka looks troubled, the harsh shadows etched into his face bringing out the worry lines. 

“Can  _ I  _ say something selfish now?” Tanaka asks, but continues before Suga can respond: “I miss having you on the court. I like spiking your tosses better, for what it’s worth. But that probably doesn’t help anything.” 

There’s a deep ache in Suga’s chest, and his head is throbbing from lack of sleep. He’s right -- it doesn’t help a thing. 

Only now does Suga notice the salty tears running down his cheeks, welling up in the corners of his mouth -- he isn’t sure when he started crying. He feels like a stupid child, sniffling pathetically, and scrubs at his face. 

“Oh shit, Suga-san, I’m sorry,” Tanaka reaches out and claps a hand on his shoulder. He kneads his fingertips in, like he’s afraid to pull away, and afraid to close the gap between them.

“No, it’s not your fault,” Suga gives him a tired smile, and wipes away the last of the tears, desperately trying to keep them from pooling in his eyes. “I’m just being a baby.”

When Tanaka pulls away, he punches his fist into the ground, a grunt and a frustrated sigh escaping him. Suga finds his hand, prying it apart and twining their fingers together. 

“You’re a good friend, you know that?” Suga says, and reaches over to rub at Tanaka’s stupid, fuzzy head. His hair’s grown in a bit since last week, and Suga likes the way it feels against the pads of his fingertips.

Tanaka beams at him with a toothy grin and Suga feels like he’s going to fall through into the cracks of the earth. There’s a peculiar kind of tension threading itself between them, and Suga’s  _ sure _ he’s not imagining it. He  _ isn’t _ sure if he hopes he’s wrong or right.  

“I think, probably, we’ll all sync up again,” Tanaka offers, and gives Suga’s hand a squeeze. “It’ll work itself out.” 

“Whether I’m on the court or not,” Suga braces himself for another wave of tears, holding them back, “I want us to win. I want to make that happen. But I don’t know how. I hate feeling like I’m the weak link in this mess.”

“Suga-san, you’re like, the smartest person I know! And I think, just by being a part of the team, by being  _ you, _ you make sure it  _ does happen,  _ though _. _ ” Tanaka bites back a sigh. “I guess I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like… uhhh...” 

Tanaka makes a vague yet elaborate gesture, and Suga can’t help but laugh at the nonsensical shapes he’s making in the air. It doesn’t help explain his point any, but it makes Suga feel better. Tanaka looks equal parts defeated and embarrassed. 

“Well, you tried.” Suga smirks at him. 

“Whatever it is you do,” Tanaka scratches at his chin, and Suga can see he’s digging deep for something. “You do it good?”

Suga laughs again and he’s glad to have Tanaka here with him, in the most horrible hours of the morning. 

“Well, I’m glad at least  _ you _ can see this… intangible thing I do well, whatever it is.” 

“I do, though.” Tanaka says, all sincerity. He grabs at Suga’s hand again, a little unsure, but he squeezes anyway, threading their fingers together.

Suga feels like bursting, but he isn’t sure if he’d mind. 

“That… this…” Tanaka says, and wriggles his fingers against Suga’s, bringing their hands up for Suga to see. “It’s like…” He shakes their arms roughly in his grip, “you  _ are  _ what brings everything together, yeah?”

“You’re gonna wrench my arm off,” Suga says, and smirks, because he’s feeling too many things to be honest right now.  

Tanaka drops his grasp and looks painfully embarrassed. “S-sorry, Suga-san,” 

“I’m joking, you dimwit.” Suga gives him a firm punch in shoulder. 

Then, he leans back, staring up at the endless, expansive night, avoiding Tanaka’s gaze. The clouds have passed over by now, mostly, and he can see the stars, clear and bright, peppering the sky. It’d be a nice moment, with the two of them, if Suga hadn’t gone and ruined it. 

He can feel whatever had been strung tight between them starting to slip. Or maybe it was never there to start with. Maybe he did hope he had imagined it.

“Well, I’m not joking.” Tanaka says through gritted teeth, grabbing back onto the moment before it passes completely. “Bad analogies aside, I mean it. Like I said, you’re smart. It’ll come together. It always does.”

“You put too much faith in me, I think,” Suga says, though he knows he shouldn’t have. He isn’t sure why he’s so intent on digging this hole as deep as possible, other than that he wants to be buried in it.  

“Suga-san,” Tanaka says, grinning like a shark, eyebrows quirked dangerously. “If you weren’t my senpai, I’d have to smack some sense into you right about now.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Suga smirks, and yes, he does desperately want to be buried six feet down right about now.  

It does, however, seem to catch Tanaka completely off guard. He stares at Suga, glassy-eyed, mouth quirked, like he’s trying to work out some equation. He fidgets, edging in a little closer, fingers grasping at nothing.    
Tanaka might just punch him. Or, he might kiss him. Suga doesn’t know which he’d prefer, and thinks that both is probably the ideal solution. The tension tugs between them again, and Suga is hopeful.

However, Tanaka does neither. 

“Just trust me on this, alright?” Tanaka says, and the warm, familiar grin creeps back, then cracks open with a yawn. “Fuck, I’m tired. You’re wearin’ me out.” 

“Watch it,” Suga teases, and joins him in the yawn. There’s some relief in it, and the exhaustion seeps back in. “Well, I guess I better get you back to bed then. Make sure you’re not up causing any trouble. You need your sleep if you’re gonna get through all the penalties tomorrow.” 

“Hngh.” Tanaka agrees. 

“Come on, then.”

Suga stands, stretching out his back, and shivering in the cool breeze as it wraps around him. He extends a hand down, and heaves Tanaka to his feet in an easy motion. They stand there a moment, swaying under the stars, smiling at each other like they’re both in on some kind of secret, which Suga supposes, they kind of are.

Suga hopes the thing he may or may not be imagining is still there in the morning. Yet somehow, it’d be a different kind of relief if it wasn’t.

They nearly stumble down the hill together as they trudge back off to bed, legs heavy and tired, hands still clasped.


	3. Chapter 3

Snow has just started to drift down from the deep purple sky as the team huddles around out front of the Sakanoshita shop. It melts as soon as it hits the ground, a barely noticeable thing. 

They all thank Suga for the nikuman with their mouths full, words muffled around the food. They could at least swallow first, but Suga’s still tickled by the enthusiasm. Even Tsukishima’s muttering something that may be an acknowledgment of thanks, and flashes an almost-smile -- a rare gem from his tallest kouhai. 

“Don’t choke!” Suga says with a laugh. 

This is, Suga realizes, the first time he’s treated them to anything at all as their Vice Captain, the title of which he’s held for near a year now. Both thoughts squeeze at his chest. 

Daichi had left practice early for some family related obligation he refused to clue Suga in on, which had very much left him agitated. He wonders when they stopped sharing things like friends do, and worries it’s his fault. Whether he’s angrier at himself or Daichi he isn’t certain of, but he puts on a smile and tries to push it away.

Shimizu’s already left to walk Yachi and Asahi to the bus stop, so this time, it’s just him left as the sole third year to wrangle all the kids. Suga huffs at that, smiling. How silly.  _ Kids _ . He’s  _ barely  _ older than them. 

Nishinoya appears in front of Suga, suddenly, startling him.

“Hey! You want one?” He’s waving a popsicle in Suga’s face, a strange offering of gratitude.

“No, you weirdo. It’s freezing!” Suga laughs and rubs his hands together to emphasize the point.

“Well, suit yourself then,” Nishinoya mumbles around the first one that he’s got shoved in his mouth, then tries to pawn the second one off on Hinata. 

Tsukishima and Kageyama share a look of disgusted agreement with each other. Suga’s delighted they’re getting along over  _ something  _ for once. Then, Yamaguchi laughs, taking Tsukishima’s attention away, breaking the moment before it becomes anything more -- still, the split second of camaraderie the two had is better than nothing. It was sorely needed lately.

Ennoshita grabs at the popsicle before Hinata’s able to come to a decision, shoving it right in his mouth. 

“Hey!” Hinata shouts.

“I didn’t think you wanted it,” Ennoshita shrugs, then pops it back out of his mouth, and offers it to Hinata with a smirk. “Here, you can have it, if it’s that important.” 

Hinata lets out a strangled “GWAH!” then stomps over to Kageyama to join in his disgust.  

Nishinoya is delighted by it all, and his laugh rings out far too loud, echoing off the buildings around them. Coach will storm out here any second and start telling them off, so Suga gestures for him to shut it. Ennoshita, thankfully, is also trying to quiet him down. 

Suddenly, a hand claps down on his shoulder from behind, and Suga jumps, thoroughly startled again. He turns to meet Nishinoya’s partner in crime this time. He should have guessed.

“Wanna bet on whether Coach comes out and actually kicks their asses this time?” Tanaka says, chuckling. At least he’s keeping his voice down. “1,000 yen says he does.”

Suga desperately wants to joke around like usual, but he feels begrudgingly responsible without Daichi around. He shoots Tanaka an exasperated look instead. 

“Sorry,” Tanaka says with a frown, ears going red from more than the cold. He peels himself away from Suga. 

Except now he’s gone and made Tanaka sad, and he really can’t live with himself for that. He’s got no choice, then.

“2,000 and a stick of gum says he goes for Nishinoya with a broom.” Suga smirks, crossing his arms. 

Tanaka lights up again instantly, teeth flashing at Suga. “You’re on!”

Instead, they all settle down, finishing off their food, sharing snippets of conversation. Suga just stands and watches them, hands shoved into his pockets, rocking back on his heels. Tanaka’s been watching with him too, surprisingly quiet as he finishes off the last of his nikuman.

Coach never shows his face, and unless Nishinoya starts yelling about something again (which  _ might  _ not be off the table), it looks like Suga’s lost the bet. 

“I lied. I have less than 500 left on me, and the gum in my pocket may or may not already be chewed. You can still have it though.” 

Tanaka laughs and Suga feels elated, joining in. 

“Nah, keep it. Here,” Tanaka digs into the paper bag he has clutched in a hand, and pulls out a package of daifuku, ripping the plastic open with his teeth and mumbling, “consolation prize.” 

Suga smiles and reaches out to take one -- except Tanaka’s already shoving one into his mouth. It’s coffee flavored. He giggles like a god damned  _ idiot,  _ and slaps him away. 

Still, it’s nice. He loves these, the coffee ones, and Tanaka probably knows that, and for some reason it makes his eyes sting with the threat of tears. It’s too cold, and too late to deal with the warm fuzzy thing crawling around in his chest. 

Tanaka’s shoving another one into his mouth before he’s had the chance to swallow. 

“S-stop!” He mumbles around it, but he isn’t sure if he means it. “I’m gonna, cho-oke~”

Tanaka is still laughing, huddled in close. His breath is warm against Suga’s jaw, puffing out around them in the cold air. He smells like sweat and cheap body spray and curry -- which should be properly disgusting, yet somehow it’s not. It’s familiar, safe.

Suga glances over at him, all warmth and a bit of sadness that he’s trying not to let out. 

Tanaka’s face falls a little around his grin, and Suga knows he’s been caught. He just stands there, chewing sadly. What a sight. Tanaka hasn’t looked away yet and his expression is growing into concern. 

Suga swallows. 

Then, Hinata is cursing something  _ terrible _ at Kageyama and Suga’s attention is ripped away. 

“Hey--”

Before he can step in to de-escalate, Tanaka growls low next to him. “Oi! Don’t make me come kick your asses!” He flashes them a raised fist, an intimidating face. It forces a smile to tug at Suga’s lips.

“I’d listen to him if I were you,” Ennoshita suggests simply, then pops the popsicle back into his mouth. 

They do listen, thankfully quieting, though still scowling at one another.

They will be fine, Suga thinks, once him and Daichi are gone. Ennoshita and Tanaka have this covered. There’s a sort of ill-defined miserable gladness churning around in his stomach at the thought. In three months, it will all be over. He wants to kick at the gravel that’s crunching under his feet, but he’s not so childish. 

Suga supposes he was naive to think the high from their victory against Shiratorizawa would would somehow fix anything. They’d achieved their goal hadn’t they? Done what they set out to. Karasuno is on the path to Nationals. Why had everything suddenly felt more grim and pointless then? 

The snow decides now is the time to start falling faster, bigger, heavier flakes landing in Suga’s hair, on his arms. He studies the patterns on his coat sleeves before they melt away, as if they have anything to offer him. 

“Ahh!” Yamaguchi says, after a stifled laugh, “we’re leaving!” He gives a wave to Suga and Hinata, tugging at Tsukishima’s sleeve before he can take off without a goodbye. 

“Nn. Later,” Tsukishima mutters, not bothering to turn back around, shuffling down the last of the hill with a still giggling Yamaguchi in tow. 

Suga’s lost the thought that’d been trying to take shape, though maybe it’s for the best.

“Ah, yeah, it’s starting to come down. I should make sure these clowns get home,” Ennoshita says, gesturing to Nishinoya and Kinoshita, the latter of which looks deeply confused at the accusation. Nishinoya just elbows Ennoshita in the ribs with a grin. 

Suga is thankful they all have a close route home.

“Ryuu, you coming?” Nishinoya shouts.

“Uhhh, I’ll uh, catch up with you guys later,” Tanaka says, vague and drawn out. Suga knows that tone and doesn’t like it one bit.

Ennoshita gives him a peculiar look, but neither of them press it. 

The rest of them all mill about some more before eventually scattering, saying their goodbyes, heading off to the fork at the end of the hill, off to the station or down around the next block. Suga waits to see them all off, telling them they better hurry to beat the snow, threatening them to get some sleep. He’s obligated to pull his weight without Daichi around. 

It hasn’t gone unnoticed that Tanaka is still lingering around behind him, unusually quiet. Suga turns to face him, and is met with an intense stare -- one that he’s not all that used to off of the court. He’s working something out, targeting Suga. It makes his skin crawl. 

“Dunno what you think you’re up to, but you better get home too,” Suga chides. 

“If I leave you here, you’re not just gonna wander around in the snow brooding, are you?” Tanaka quirks an eyebrow.

“Why would I do that?” Suga mocks offense. 

“Because you’re all sad and sulky again.” 

“Am not!” 

“Are too!” Tanaka goes in for a punch to the arm, but thinks better of it and pulls away. “Just … you know. I figure I should make sure you get home okay.” 

“I walk myself home everyday, Tanaka. I’ll be fine.” 

“Standing around in the snow feeling sorry for yourself isn’t really fine, is it?” 

Suga’s fist connects with Tanaka’s shoulder, eliciting a whine. “Ow!” 

“How  _ dare you _ , Tanaka Ryuunosuke, I never in my life!” 

Tanaka is grinning at him. Suga realizes he’s grinning back despite himself. 

“Uh huh, sure,” is all Tanaka says, and shoves his hands back in his pockets. “Then I guess I’ll just walk myself home, at a pace that may or may not match yours, and may or may not cut through your neighborhood. You know. For no reason.” 

“Mm, no reason at all,” Suga says, and starts down the tail of the hill, Tanaka following a couple paces behind. 

No one ever gives Tanaka enough credit for just how infuriatingly perceptive he can be. It’s a quality that Suga hates and loves in equal parts. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t actually want the company. He’s glad, sometimes, that Tanaka can read him so well. Glad he can be so pushy, as much he feels the need to resist. 

“Hey,” Suga says, softly, and stops when they reach the streetlight where the road forks in two. “Thanks.” 

Tanaka stops ahead of him, then turns back to face him. He’s back to serious, a worried frown tugging at his face. Suga’s smile falters a little at that. 

“Suga-san…” Tanaka starts, then looks down, scuffing a sneaker in the light dusting of snow that’s begun to finally stick. “I’m… are you, like, okay?”

The heavy concern in his voice is what tips something over in Suga, and just when he thought he was fine, he can’t seem to hold the tears back anymore. Suga’s throat cracks around an unintelligible sound.

“Fuck…” Tanaka hisses and tugs at his hat in distress. “Sorry, I didn’t--”

“No, no!” Suga manages to get out, sniffling, feeling like a complete tool for not being able to keep his emotions in check. “It’s not your fault.”

Tanaka worries at his lip and nods, looking a little lost. 

“It’s just… been a lot lately, you know?” It’s a vague thing to say, sure, but it’s also true. 

“Yeah,” Tanaka agrees, nodding softly. He seems unsure of what to do with his hands and ultimately settles on his jacket pockets being good enough. 

“I don’t even know where to start. Hell, I don’t even know where it’ll  _ end. _ ” 

Tanaka nods again. 

They stay silent for a while, under the streetlight, the snow drifting around them. It’s another  _ could-be _ moment, one of those nice  _ should-be _ ones that Suga always ruins with his stupid crying because he’s the  _ worst _ . 

“Hey, you wanna, uh, I mean, why don’t you come over for dinner?” Tanaka asks, still looking unsure, but Suga knows the offer is earnest.

“Oh,” he isn’t sure what to do, not really. Suga appreciates the gesture, he does, but he doesn’t want to cave to offers of pity. He’s more respectable than that. 

“Come on, my place is closer, and my sister can give you a ride home -- the snow is just gonna get heavier.”

“I couldn’t impose,” Suga says weakly. “Really.”

“Nah, my sister loves you!” Tanaka laughs. “Come ooon, she’s a great cook!” 

Suga would be lying if he said wasn’t tempted by the offer of  _ good food  _ and worse than that, Tanaka’s horrible, coercive grin -- he’s  _ adorable  _ and Suga is  _ weak. _

“Don’t you have studying to do?” Suga quirks a brow at him, tries for an excuse, but he knows full well he’s already caved. 

“I guess, yeah, but ... I could always use the help.” Tanaka’s smiling at him softer now, a faint blush creeping into his cheeks and that’s it, Suga’s done for. “I mean like,  _ really  _ use the help.”

“Well, I guess I have no choice then,” Suga shrugs, heaving a sigh for dramatic effect. “Can’t let you fail your exams, can I? What would you do without me?”

“I’m forever in your debt,” Tanaka says with an exaggerated gravity, bowing. 

So they share a stupid giggle, and Suga feels little less useless, a little more needed.

Tanaka slings an arm around him and leads him down the road. Maybe they’ll be fine without him eventually, but not yet. Besides it’s no use being lonely when he doesn’t have to be alone. No use in leaving when he doesn’t have to leave yet. His miserable mood is starting to melt away a little. 

The sky casts an unreal, hazy glow over the town as they wind their way through empty streets, snow drifting down. The mountains fading out around them, at the edges of Suga’s vision, keep them safe, anchoring them in the moment.

Suga steals a glance at Tanaka, bumps against him, and wishes, childish maybe, that this moment could last forever, that they could have hundreds more evenings like this. He tries to commit it all to memory, the chill of the falling snow, the warmth of the body crushed against him, the lingering buzz of laughter in his chest. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong exactly, but … everything’s gonna be alright, yeah?” Tanaka says then, breaking the silence, words weighted and very much needed.

Suga softens and smiles at him, chest heavy, and for now at least, he lets himself believe it.


End file.
